LETTER: London melting pot

People in the travel business say as soon as we’re off the red list a lot of folk are up and out. The UK seems to be a favourite destination.

When last in London I stayed in a well-appointed cupboard (aka a studio apartment) not far from Harrods in Knightsbridge. I became acquainted with one of the doormen near its handbag department. He prided himself in being able to say: “Welcome to Harrods, ladies” in a number of languages, his most profitable being Arabic.

The doorman told me recently that he was expecting a new influx of customers from Afghanistan judging by the latest headlines, so he was brushing up with his phrase book. I reminded him that many of these shoppers arrive wearing a full black burka, so how he would know who’s who?  “Don’t worry,” he said, “Afghan burkas are blue.” So his clients are already colour coded.

I scratched my head and thought what a wonderful world we live in. London, like many European cities, takes pride in being multicultural, though I suspect this is a euphemism for immigrants who have little in common with their new neighbours.

The languages spoken in London are instructive. At the posh end of my street the lingua franca is Arabic and Russian, since potentates and oligarchs have been buying chunks of the capital for decades. Down the other end at the street market it’s Nigerian cockney, with everything else thrown in for good measure.

I did a survey on public transport, where everyone talks to themselves as if demented but are actually on their phones, and found that English was spoken one time in four. As I said, it’s a wonderful world, even if you have no idea what’s going on.  

Bernard Benson 
Parklands

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