Depending on who you ask and who’s paying them, the identity of SA’s current president varies wildly. Julius Malema, for example, keeps insisting that our real president is Pravin Gordhan. Half of the ANC will tell you it’s really Jacob Zuma, or at least should be. And if you buy him lunch at the Wimpy and dry-clean his camouflage onesie, Carl Niehaus will tell the world it’s you. All of them are, of course, hopelessly mistaken. Because, as of last week, the real president of SA is Xi Jinping. China’s decision to pour enormous sums of money into the ANC’s two en-suite toilets (Eskom and Transnet) has raised a few alarms. Some commentators are worried about the terms of the loans: Peter Bruce cited the case in which Sri Lanka surrendered an entire port to China after it failed to repay its debt. At what point, we wonder, will Richards Bay become the People’s Democratic Revolutionary Harbour Facility (African Sub-Directorate) Number 6b? I understand these concerns, but must confess th...

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