MUGABE MAYHEM
SIMON LINCOLN READER: Robert, dis-Grace and their two possessed Thugabes
What it was like the day Grace Mugabe ensnared Robert? Imagine it is February 1992, shortly after the death of his first wife, Sally. Mugabe is at his desk on an uncomfortable call to Sally’s family in Ghana. Grace, his secretary, is typing away in an adjacent room. I imagine the phone conversation: "Oh, these things are always hard" and "Oh, everyone seems to be coping" and "Now listen to me, you backward peasant, I stashed an enormous amount of stolen money in her name in your country and I bloody well want it back." "Um, about that money," the voice on the phone in Ghana says. "No, I don’t think we’ll give it back to you." Mugabe attempts to swallow his fist, but when he cannot squeeze his teeth over his knuckles he hurls the handset at the portrait of Queen Elizabeth. He screams and goose-steps up and down his office making unpleasant remarks about the quality of infrastructure in Accra before collapsing. Sensing her moment, Grace creeps in and waits at his desk as he crawls bac...
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