Later this month I will travel to Denmark, so I have scoured the internet in search of affordable accommodation in Copenhagen. There is no such thing, but I did eventually find an apartment that advertised itself as “close to the Little Mermaid”.

I snapped it up, eagerly anticipating my encounter with the statue. Then I made the mistake of using Google Maps’ street view. Edvard Eriksen’s 1913 rendition of the Hans Christian Andersen character is impressive on a postcard with a blue-sky backdrop, but appears underwhelming on a grey day when hordes of tourists are clambering over the rocks to take a selfie. I dread an anticlimactic mash-up of Manneken Pis and the Mona Lisa.

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