The march against Donald Trump starts at 5pm on Friday. Angry protestors will congregate at Portland Place before moving onto Trafalgar Square, where they will presumably sniff the air for racists (apparently too much prior exposure to cat urine is not good for identifying Islamaphobes) — but almost certainly not express their curiosity as to the exact location of teats on almonds. Accompanying the protest will be a blimp depicting Trump as a baby: "He hates to be ridiculed," said one of the blimp organisers, who owns some choice property in Hammersmith valued at £1.8m. Another of the organisers is the grandson of a former Labour MP. Nice! South Africans are also angry, but I fear this anger is more reactive to the chain of editorial policies intentionally defiled to portray Trump as appallingly as possible. I’m also aware that some South Africans have assumed liberties with the Stop-Trump-MeToo-TimesUp-Black-Lives-Matter-Bollocks-To-Brexit axis for reasons outside of protest.

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