With just under two months until the start of the 2022 Fifa World Cup, the 2022 Contortionist World Championships are in full, bendy swing as players, commentators and paid-for apologists twist themselves this way and that to convince all that holding the tournament in Qatar could bring “real change”.

The leading contender is, of course, David Beckham, who, according to whom you read, was paid a guesstimate of £150m — the equivalent of a Gupta Eskom deal — to be a “cultural ambassador” for Qatar. He described Qatar as “perfect” in an advertising campaign...

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