Fatherhood and the making of men
Being a dad isn’t an easy gig – but raising children in SA adds an entirely different set of complications. Writer and father Luke Alfred meditates on the task
Fatherhood is one of the great enigmas of our time, a treasure hunt of scattered clues rather than blinding revelations. The clues come from your own dad, his dad if you are lucky, from society at large, but they come piecemeal, unbidden, arriving when you least expect them. Often the best ones are meaningful only retrospectively. "Ah," you say later. "I understand what that means now." Let’s assume our young father is brave and noble, wanting to do right by his partner and his kids, but he’s also negotiating through quicksand, with a blindfold. It is a tough ask. He’ll need all the help he can get because the very idea of fatherhood in SA is in crisis. Men don’t know who they are or what they want out of relationships. They don’t know if they want the secure comforts of monogamy or the freedom to play the field. They realise they can’t be boys forever but endlessly mourn the innocence of lost boyhood. Rams Mabote, radio personality and father, started Future Kings four years ago. H...
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