DARREL BRISTOW-BOVEY: Floored by some rich treatment
'Apparently these chaps all have five-storey money bins filled with doubloons in which they roll around like Scrooge McDuck'
I just want to know why the flooring guys hate me. I've had my problems with roofing guys in the past - the roofing guys treated me as though they were the Turkish government and I was the proud Kurdish nation, or like they were British Airways flight crew and I was an economy class passenger - but compared to the flooring guys, I would spend the rest of my life locked in a small cage with the roofing guys, half-submerged in a mangrove swamp, and you wouldn't hear a complaint from me.To explain: I have an old house and they are like people: one by one, things need replacing. First it was the roof, now the floor. The roof experience was so traumatic I delayed the floor for years, and now the floorboards bend and shift; walking to the lounge poses an existential threat. Finally I decided that the economy had surely reached such a parlous state that even Cape Town flooring guys would be happy for the work and not treat me as a medieval Catholic priest might treat a pointy-tailed strang...
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