School holidays are a work-from-home dad's worst nightmare. To quote a friend of mine, "Izingane ziphenduka imigodi engagcwali yobumnandi" (holidays turn kids into endless pits of entertainment). I wish I had mastered my own father's approach to school holidays, which was to turn our household into his own Laogai or forced-labour camp. But I'm like putty in the midgets' hands, which is why I found myself peering through a window at Gold Reef City theme park last Friday, credit card in hand, yelling, "Three Thrill Rider tickets please". And this was when I spotted them. Hordes of haggard, irritable people walking behind each other like sheep. Colour-coded sheep, based on the colour of bandanas on their heads. Each group had a laminated A4 sheet with some kind of instructions and/or clues. They would stop intermittently to pore over the piece of paper and have fierce debates about which direction to go. The midgets thought I had lost my marbles because I started giggling hysterically....

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