Crowning glory of King Charles III’s coronation

Horse-drawn coaches straight out of Cinderella, thousands of soldiers and sailors lining the route, flashy uniforms on the king and court jesters who have been given cameos in the show. A whole lot of pomp, in the South African sense of the word. 

Then add double-digit inflation, stoked by one of Europe’s worst cost of living crises, amid public sector strikes and a scandal-battered government. No surprise, then, that many citizens on Poverty Rock are a bit huffy about King Charles’s coronation extravaganza on Saturday.

In the 1975 comedy Monty Python and the Holy Grail, King Arthur, travelling on foot through the land while preceded by a page knocking coconuts together to make the sound of a clip-clopping horse, gets into an argument with peasants who ask who he is.

“I’m your king,” says Arthur.

“Well, I didn’t vote for you,” says one peasant.

“You don’t vote for kings,” Arthur huffs before embarking on a long-winded explanation about how the Lady of the Lake “held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water”, signifying that he would rule the Britons.

“Listen,” says the other peasant, “strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.” Neatly skewering the farce that is the British monarchy.

The main distraction now is the list of people who have snubbed invitations to be at Westminster Abbey on Saturday. US President Joe Biden isn’t going, and at this point, it seems President Cyril Ramaphosa will also miss the shindig.

Prince Harry will be there, though without any role, which means he will be jostling with the crowd and that’s fine. For as Dire Straits so presciently sang in Sultans of Swing: “Harry doesn’t mind if he doesn’t make the scene / He’s got a daytime job, he’s doing alright.”