First up were the three orthopods. Dr De Beer was the front man of the trio, who included Dr Serfontein and another thickset doctor who, as far as I remember, didn’t say a word in my presence.

Dr De Beer explained that they were actually civilians. “It’s not as if we’re pro-military,” he said. I had to swallow my sarcasm as I replied: “Gosh, the thought never occurred to me.”

The three stooges took me into an examination room where Dr De Beer asked Dr Serfontein to hold my hips tight while he tried to twist my shoulders as much as possible.

BL Premium

This article is reserved for our subscribers.

A subscription helps you enjoy the best of our business content every day along with benefits such as exclusive Financial Times articles, Morningstar financial data, and digital access to the Sunday Times and Times Select.

Already subscribed? Simply sign in below.

Questions or problems? Email helpdesk@businesslive.co.za or call 0860 52 52 00.