It was going to take an extraordinary feat of mamparadom to emerge as the 2016 mampara of the year. Applications for this position came in thick and fast from benighted, beleaguered and be-buggered persons all year long. Penny Sparrow set the tone for a year of idiocy with her racist remarks about black people on what were once her dear little whites-only beaches. While she remains the unsurpassable spiritual winner of this award, she was soon overwhelmed by others who should have known better. Hlaudi Motsoeneng’s declaration that he was a messiah sent from the heavens to bring magic to broadcasting was extraordinary. By December, he was still in the mamparadom running, as parliament heard testimony about how he constructed an empire of self-promotion and dodgy dealings. Brian Molefe cried himself out of a job after the extent of Eskom’s dealings with the Guptas were laid bare by the previous public protector. Drinks all round at the Saxonwold shebeen for a supreme effort to win thi...

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