When I was a kid in good old Hammanskraal, we had a teacher who would rush into class on Thursday mornings, brandishing a stick. We knew: Thursday was Afrikaans poetry day. And those poems were damned difficult to memorise and recite. “You’d better know your recitations or die poppe gaan dans [the dolls will dance] ,” he would threaten. The Afrikaans lesson was at the end of the day, so you can imagine what happened. Fear set in early in the morning. There would be runny tummies, heart palpitations and kids hyperventilating all day. The queue at the toilets was long. So, dear reader, I advise you not to visit our administrative capital, Tshwane, in the next few weeks. The queues at government office bathrooms will be long. Politicians will be hyperventilating.The Hawks investigative unit has finally, after years of slumber, found its gonads. Last week, Hawks members raided the Free State agriculture department in search of evidence that mineral resources minister Mosebenzi Zwane hel...

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