YOUR hair feels like pubic hair." That was one of the first insults someone hurled at my hair. She was a junior at my school. She would touch my hair and repeat this sentence to all present. I had to threaten her with violence to get her to stop. This is one of the first dilemmas black people face: do I let people touch my hair and under what circumstances? The question "Can I touch it?" becomes one of the most awkward social moments and can break relationships before they even start. This fascination with the texture of black hair (please don’t call it "ethnic") is not new. In slave societies, white women would often hack off the hair of their enslaved female servants because it supposedly "confused white men". Today, black women with nappy hair — natural and chemical-free — are desirable despite the popular discourse to the contrary. Think, for example, of how Lupita Nyong’o has become a household name, even though she is nappy and has dark skin. It’s not just fashion or trends: t...
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