A good week
If only Jacob Zuma would be beneficent enough to share the magic shake that has clearly saved our great singing statesman from death’s door. Verily, one moment you’re in the clink and gasping for the last rites, the next you’re holding prayer sessions, cuffing the twins’ ears, discussing Carl’s new dance moves and putting a few rands on the roulette tables. To be fair to the freshly sprung prez, we’ve always found an orange jumpsuit to be a real mood alterer, no matter what the fashion oracles say.
A bad week
What an embarrassing year Matt ‘hands, face, back to my place’ Hancock is having. First, the UK’s former health minister was caught snogging an aide, just as his social distance strictures hit peak stridency; now the UN has withdrawn an offer that he be its special envoy to Africa on economic recovery. We’re relieved: after all, he badly botched the UK’s initial Covid response. Said Global Justice Now: "The last thing the African continent needs is a failed British politician. This isn’t the 19th century."