Behold the python (or the ANC government, whichever occurs plausibly): for the longest time, herpetologists maintained that pythons killed their prey by suffocation. A python would bite its victim to establish an anchor and coil its body around that of the victim to suffocate it by incrementally tightening its coils at each exhalation by the prey until an excess of carbon dioxide and a privation of oxygen kills it.


Serial stranglers are well aware of its virtues, including the intimacy that the necessity of proximity to its victim affords the killer. Alas, this is true no longer. The Pythonidae, one Scott M Boback (PhD) and his gizmo-heavy propeller heads discovered as recently as 2015, kill quickly and elegantly by squashing the bejesus out of their prey so that venous back pressure exceeds the heart’s capacity, et voila, lunch is served.

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