NOTE: The following is a work of satire - ed The Cabinet was just finishing its morning Russian lesson when word came that Malusi Gigaba had locked himself in the toilet and wasn’t coming out. “I’ve tried everything‚” whispered a panicked aide hovering outside the gold-leafed entrance of the Che Guevara Memorial Washroom. “And I think he’s crying.” Jacob Zuma stepped forward and tapped gently on the door.

BL Premium

This article is reserved for our subscribers.

A subscription helps you enjoy the best of our business content every day along with benefits such as articles from our international business news partners; ProfileData financial data; and digital access to the Sunday Times and Sunday Times Daily.

Already subscribed? Simply sign in below.

Questions or problems? Email or call 0860 52 52 00. Got a subscription voucher? Redeem it now