NOTE: The following is a work of satire - ed The Cabinet was just finishing its morning Russian lesson when word came that Malusi Gigaba had locked himself in the toilet and wasn’t coming out. “I’ve tried everything‚” whispered a panicked aide hovering outside the gold-leafed entrance of the Che Guevara Memorial Washroom. “And I think he’s crying.” Jacob Zuma stepped forward and tapped gently on the door.

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