Extract

I used to believe that the national power grid couldn’t fail completely because someone, somewhere, would prevent that from happening. I now believe that that someone has probably been working at a large bank since 2016 and has just sent their CV to London. And so, in the interests of being prepared, I offer you a survival strategy for getting through the 10 days it will take to switch the grid back on once it goes down.

Day 1: Gather up all the supplies you have been buying for the past month and pack them into the large trailer you bought a week ago. Put your family and pets into your car, and meet the convoy of your loved ones at the pre-arranged spot on the highway. Then proceed in a safe and calm manner towards Namibia or Botswana. Once in Windhoek or Gaborone, unpack you stuff into the Airbnb you rented a month earlier. Send thoughts and prayers to everyone back home. If, however, you are like me and haven’t done any planning or pre-booking or hoarding, here’s what you do. Day 1: Wander out in the street with a bemused smile, speaking to your neighbours for the first time in years, with questions like: “Sjoe, so it actually went down, hey?” Only open your fridge in short, quick bursts so the milk doesn’t go off. Tell yourself that no internet or cellphone reception will be good for you because you’ll read more books. Day 2: Start reading a book. Become frustrated that the book isn’t congratula...

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