Extract

Sequels, prequels, threequels, reboots, preboots, reshoots: if you thought 2018 was a wild ride at the movies, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

It’s an election year, which means the stunts are about to get bigger, the effects brighter and the dialogue much, much stupider. Here’s my round-up of the must-see blockbusters of 2019, coming to a political theatre near you.

A Star is Borne Once the darling of the world, an exhausted and washed-up country has become hopelessly addicted to bad leaders and is just going through the motions. But everything changes when it hears a stunning new voice at a karaoke bar in Nkandla. Jake has had a few temp jobs here and there — human wrecking ball, Accused Number 1 — but his dream is to become a recording artist so he can stop singing for his supper in Moscow, Dubai and Uttar Pradesh. When the eThekwini municipality confirms that it might carry the costs of recording an album of struggle songs, the country drinks itself into a coma because you can’t actually make this stuff up. Avengers: Endgame Intergalactic villain DAnos has wiped out all but a handful of Patricia de Lille’s team, leaving her with only her wits and her superpower, which is laughing and saying “No no no” until the questions stop. Bloodied but unbowed, De Lille decides to avenge the catastrophe by starting her own party, again, and naming it Goo...

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