For many of us who watched, and read about, Deputy Minister of Higher Education and Training Mduduzi Manana's disgusting attack on a woman who called him gay, his reaction shouldn't have been a surprise.

Let me explain: Of course it was startling to see a man who holds such a position in government behave in such a despicable manner - and especially against a woman.

And of course it was infuriating to learn it was over something that should be trivial. Here's the truth: To many people who are closeted or unsure or in denial about their sexuality, being called gay feels like a slur.When it occurs in public spaces, such as the popular Cubana restaurant, it can feel like being found out. The woman in question could have used this as a means to win their presumed argument, in which case she should be ashamed for perpetuating the idea that being gay means being "less" than heterosexual. That's one of the few ugly and non-PC truths that emerged. I have been involved in a few discussions at social gatherings in the past week and heard varying opinions on Manana's reaction, the responses from Police Minister Fikile Mbalula and ANC Women's League leader Bathabile Dlamini, as well as testimonies from men who have been "accused" of being gay. Yes, it appears it is still seen as an accusation in 2017! But what if I told you that queer folk have shown thems...

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