Citizens of Cape Town are grappling with their identity today after they discovered that Donald Trump described the city as “beautiful”, implying that their home is either a porn star, a lump of coal, a letter from North Korea, a phone call to Ukraine, or any blonde white woman under the age of 24.

This startling news was delivered to local media by Trump's newly appointed ambassador to SA, Lana Marks, a handbag designer.

BL Premium

This article is reserved for our subscribers.

A subscription helps you enjoy the best of our business content every day along with benefits such as exclusive Financial Times articles, ProfileData financial data, and digital access to the Sunday Times and Sunday Times Daily.

Already subscribed? Simply sign in below.

Questions or problems? Email or call 0860 52 52 00. Got a subscription voucher? Redeem it now