I have a friend who is a fellow teacher at my school. She and I spend our days doing much the same thing – trying to get teenagers excited about the sine rule and the division of labour. She has four years’ experience to my two, so she bails me out whenever I’ve forgotten to take the register or neglected to turn up for a detention I’ve set. At the weekend we sometimes do the same thing too: we go on dates with random men we have met online.

On Mondays, back in school, we compare notes, which usually means discussing the various ways in which the men will not quite do.

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