Zeenat Moorad Associate editor: Financial Mail

In newsrooms around the world there tends to be a sweepstake for the most ridiculous press release received. They are easy enough to spot and usually contain jargony words such as “curating”, “accelerating” — and that gem, “seamless”. Between mega-mergers and scandals, they provide light relief. Here are a few for your enlightenment: “It’s all systems go for donkey production and trade” (yes, donkey); “How to hang your precious art”; and “Save your company from corporate cholesterol”. Last week, I thought I had one that would swing me into the big leagues. The subject line read: “Global smart toilet market (2016-2023)”. My first thought: what the fudge is a smart toilet? Followed closely by: how would it help you pee smarter or better? Consumer products are kind of my thing, so imagine my curiosity when an asset manager pointed out to me that smart toilets are, in fact, “big in Japan; big all over”. At a very basic level, a smart or intelligent toilet flushes without being touched, ...

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