Plague diary — week five: not much stimulus in the Hasenfuss household, though sorely needed in this testing time. A ruined tomato crop, incessant yapping of the dogs (on the slightest whiff of baboons), a neighbour inducing horrible national service flashbacks by playing Taps at sunset every night and the tedium of a constrained exercise regime have pressed spirits lower.

To find some traction, I focused on an internal restructuring effort to boost work efficiencies — centred mostly on clearing out my overflowing desk drawers. The effort, which was fairly strenuous and ate away most of my precious lunch hour, yielded mixed results. While desk order has been restored, the haul was underwhelming. A couple of Diclofenac Potassium tablets (possibly expired), a mini bottle of Jägermeister (three-quarters full), an old Viz annual (which I’d probably been hiding from the wife and kids), one of those fidget spinners (gold and still able to whirr effortlessly) and two Parker ballpoint...

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