I have been giving my mother the evil eye lately. I do love her, but I think she could have done better. She should have married into royalty. Then I would be very rich and living the life of Riley. I have been reading about the Venda king, Toni Mphephu Ramabulana, and I have to say there is something sweet about this royalty gig. He wasn’t just chowing from the public purse like most royals. He was going big-time on the private sector moola, too. Like other deluded souls such as the English, we pay our royals here in SA. Yes, we do. King Goodwill Zwelithini’s annual budget was increased by R7m this year — to a whopping R65.8m. The Venda king is different. He was drawing serious benefits from VBS Mutual Bank. City Press found bank statements that show how Ramabulana and others "allegedly dipped into hundreds of millions of rands belonging to depositors to finance their lifestyles". This is where you realise why my mother messed up. Ramabulana received a monthly salary of R310,000 fr...

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