They don’t make military coups like they used to. What an anticlimax the Zimbabwe coup was. No first lady rushing off with wads of cash in Gucci bags. Even the takeover of the local public broadcaster was underwhelming.Worst of all, three days after Gen Constantine Chiwenga and his bunch of faux revolutionaries rushed into President Robert Mugabe’s house they were still begging him to step down. He decided to go to a graduation ceremony instead, where he promptly fell asleep. What kind of coup is that? You take a guy hostage and then allow him to go walkabout? Afterwards, Mugabe went back to his mansion, where his captors asked him again if he would step down. You can imagine how that went: Chiwenga: "Please, President Mugabe. Please. It’s been three days now. The people are getting impatient. Please would you step down?" Mugabe: "Sorry Constantine, it’s time for my afternoon nap. Can you come back after 5.30pm, please?" Chiwenga: "Yessir, President Mugabe sir. Absolutely. As you wi...

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