At the time of writing, the gold price had risen 2% overnight, while bitcoin — after an impressive dash during the weekend, when it was trumped as a strategic reserve in the US — had tanked a stomach-churning 8%.

By the time you read this, the situation might well have reversed. I have not placed my life savings in either asset class, but hold what might be termed a “timid hedge” position, albeit with a more than slight bias to the barbarous relic. Punters who are now playing hard and fast in gold and crypto have my profound respect...

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