Columns are dreadful beasts. Sometimes there’s just nothing to say. In London, on The Times, columnists and restaurant critic Giles Coren has made a feature of the fact that he can’t think of anything to write about. It’s become a podcast he does with his wife, and it even attracts advertising.

I was commissioned to write a book. The publisher paid me an advance. That was years ago. I’ve spent the money and I still can’t write a word. A column I can squeeze out. But that’s 900 words max. A book, eish; 100,000 minimum for something decent on yourself...

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