subscribe Support our award-winning journalism. The Premium package (digital only) is R30 for the first month and thereafter you pay R129 p/m now ad-free for all subscribers.
Subscribe now
The sneakers worn by New York Knicks guard Cameron Payne during the first half against the Houston Rockets at Madison Square Garden Picture: Vincent Carchietta-Imagn Images
The sneakers worn by New York Knicks guard Cameron Payne during the first half against the Houston Rockets at Madison Square Garden Picture: Vincent Carchietta-Imagn Images

It’s generally accepted in schoolyard circles that there are two ways to deal with a bully: react aggressively and punch him on the nose, or keep your cool, find some supportive allies and try to reason with him.

The world’s recently anointed schoolyard bully, Donald “Nelson Muntz” Trump, has now turned the malevolent gaze of his orange panopticon on South Africa, with the help of his trusty-yet-dumb sidekick Elon Musk, and now South Africa has to decide how to deal with it.

 You’ll have seen Trump’s truthturd, which is what they call tweets on Trump’s Truth Social platform. “South Africa is confiscating land, and treating certain classes of people VERY BADLY. It is a bad situation that the Radical Left Media doesn’t want to so much as mention. A massive Human Rights VIOLATION, at a minimum, is happening for all to see. The United States won’t stand for it, we will act. Also, I will be cutting off all future funding to South Africa until a full investigation of this situation has been completed!”

 “Certain classes of people?” Who could the DEI bullies possibly be talking about? And in this case, DEI stands for Donald, Elon and other Idiots, the new affirmative action policy in the US, rather than the diversity, equity and inclusion system that they have obliterated overnight. I also like the idea of “a massive human rights VIOLATION” being described as “a minimum”. What could be worse than a massive human rights violation in the mind of the Donald? Perhaps he fears that it will escalate into appropriating golf courses.

Two South Africans have recently made public comments that embody the two ways of dealing with the bullying. The first is mineral resources minister Gwede Mantashe, who in his speech to the congregation at the Mining Indaba this week urged Africans to metaphorically punch Trump in the nose by withholding minerals from the US. The classic “it’s my football, and I’m taking it home” manoeuvre.

This is the gauntlet Mantashe threw down, according to the Mail & Guardian: “Let us withhold minerals to the US. If they don’t give us money, let’s not give them minerals … We are not just beggars. Let us use that endowment for our benefit. If, as a continent, we are [paralysed] with fear, we are going to collapse …

“We cannot continue to debate these minerals based on the dictates of some developed nations as if we have no aspirations to accelerate Africa’s industrialisation and close the development deficit. We must avoid the race to the bottom ... Africa is the world’s richest mining jurisdiction, possessing at least 90% of the world’s chromium and platinum, 40% of the world’s gold, and the largest reserves of the world’s cobalt, vanadium, manganese and uranium. Despite having these abundant mineral resources, Africa remains poor, and this must change.”

Some might argue that exploitation by the West, though egregious and damaging, is possibly only No 2 on the list of why Africa remains poor, and our home-grown despots and politicians should probably rank up there at No 1. But that’s a discussion for another day. Others might pointedly ask the question, if we can suddenly use our mineral wealth to replace aid money that has been stopped, why couldn’t we do that all along? But anyway, a brave stance.

 The second tactic when dealing with a bully is expressed by Iain Williamson, the Old Mutual CEO. In an interview with News24, he favoured a placatory strategy. Speaking from Davos on January 22, he warned that with nationalism on the rise across the world, there are clear risks for a small, open economy such as South Africa’s. He also warned local leaders to avoid drawing the ire of Trump and other leaders of major global powers. “It’s every country for itself. The strong will pursue their own agendas, and the others will just have to do the best they can. That is where the world is at right now, and there are pros and cons for South Africa.”

As long as we don’t poke the bear, we should be OK
Iain Williamson, Old Mutual

He also said the following, which is looking uncannily prescient now. “We might not be Trump’s favourite [country], but on the positive side, we’re probably low down on his priority list. As long as we don’t poke the bear, we should be OK.” And he warned that our government’s attempts to portray itself as neutral in the polarised global order would be difficult.

“The official line is we try to be nonaligned, but in truth, it’s very hard to do … Trying to tread a line of neutrality is a very thin line to tread, and you can easily step off it in another direction. The only pro is that we are on the southern tip of Africa [so] nobody really cares, to some extent.”

At the time, I bookmarked the interview because I was toying with writing a column about how lily-livered our business leaders are. As the fallout from the Trump/Musk cabal starts to land on South Africa, I have subsequently learned humility.

Quite who poked the bear will probably emerge in the next few days, but one thing is for sure. Those idiots over at AfriForum have not done us any favours with their pathetic whining to US conservatives in the past few years. You’ll remember that in 2018, they were in the US lobbying about the murders of white farmers, and dramatising the South African government’s plans to expropriate land without compensation. Trump tweeted about South Africa then too, saying: “I have asked Secretary of State Pompeo to closely study the South Africa land and farm seizures and expropriations and the large-scale killing of farmers. South African Government is now seizing land from white farmers.”

 The Old Mutual CEO also pointed to an opportunity for developing nations to start flexing a bit of muscle, with reference to Brics (Brazil, Russia, India, China and Spain, to give it its full Trumpian title). “You’ve got to be quite self-reliant and not expect any favours, but equally hopefully not get too much damage coming your way. The worst thing you can do right now is provoke the really big powers.”

Well, provoke we have, and China and Russia must be seeing Washington’s new “all or nothing” mode of international relations as an opportunity. Because with Trump, there is no nuance. If you’re against him, you are with China. A February 3 truthturd reads: “Anybody that’s against Tariffs, including the Fake News Wall Street Journal, and Hedge Funds, is only against them because these people or entities are controlled by China, or other foreign or domestic companies. Anybody that loves and believes in the United States of America is in favour of Tariffs. They should have never ended, in favour of the Income Tax System, in 1913. The response to Tariffs has been FANTASTIC!”

Given that Mantashe is a big fan of Russian nuclear power stations, we have to look at his aggressive defiance of the US with slightly jaundiced eyes. While it will have harsh consequences for ordinary citizens if we become a card-carrying member of the Death to America club, it won’t be a bad thing for those who are invested in getting us more closely embroiled with China and Russia for profit.

But what can a small country like South Africa do when it becomes collateral damage to a bully’s crude flaunting of power? The anti-bullying organisation Stomp Out Bullying gives some advice. “When a bully calls you a name or tells you your sneakers are ugly — look at them in the eyes and laugh hysterically and say: ‘I know my sneakers are ugly.’ Keep laughing hysterically and walk away without any additional conversation.”

I’m not sure that adopting this strategy will have entirely positive results for us as a country, but it sure would feel good. When you expend as much effort as Trump and Musk do to build your fragile ego, you really, really hate being laughed at. But the fundamental question that the world is now grappling with is, how do we respond to the US’s bullying? And we do need to call it the US’s bullying now, rather than Trump’s. He and the US have become indistinguishable.

subscribe Support our award-winning journalism. The Premium package (digital only) is R30 for the first month and thereafter you pay R129 p/m now ad-free for all subscribers.
Subscribe now

Would you like to comment on this article?
Sign up (it's quick and free) or sign in now.

Speech Bubbles

Please read our Comment Policy before commenting.