This week, the official account of the Afghanistan Cricket Board posted a video with the caption “Glimpses from the trophy unveiling ceremony ahead of the One-Off #AFGvNZ Test Match, starting tomorrow in Greater Noida, India”. The post was splattered with the usual rash of emojis, making it look like a seagull had pooped all over it after stealing chips with too many different condiments on them. The hashtags were #AfghanAtalan | #GloriousNationVictoriousTeam. 

Glorious nation indeed. The video itself showed what I assume were the two rival captains, standing on either side of, and looming over, a shape covered entirely by a black cloth. Ta-da! The big reveal showed a glitzy trophy designed to look like a diamond-encrusted waterslide topped by a glistening haemorrhoid. ..

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