Cast your mind back, dear reader, to the follies of yore, those once essential items that you used to navigate daily life. The pressed suit, the high heel, the cabin baggage, the smoky eye. All now relegated to a pile of irrelevant, modern memento mori.

Remember the bra? I barely do. In lockdown, they’ve been scuppered. This sudden freedom and lack of constraints has lifted my spirits, though not my breasts. Once I loved Agent Provocateur beyond all measure. Yesterday I put on a brassiere to acclimatise. It kept chafing a patch on my back. It was excruciating. I removed it...

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