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There are two types of lockdown personalities.

The first are those who view the ever-expanding number of forced days at home as inhumane punishment. They’re living a contemporary simulation of life on Alcatraz – where the walls seem to be growing closer. Their minds are numb, their muscles atrophying, and fellow inmates are vexing. They’re dreaming lucidly about driving into the office car park and of coffee shops with overly chirpy baristas. They achieve all their weekly Strava cycling goals on their indoor trainer by Monday lunchtime, and are now struggling to stay buoyant in a directionless, unknowable sea. ..

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