Disgraced businessman Ajay Gupta has been implicated in state capture. Picture: SUNDAY TIMES
Disgraced businessman Ajay Gupta has been implicated in state capture. Picture: SUNDAY TIMES

Extracts from the latest edition of my SA dictionary:

STATE GUPTURE aka GUP D’ETAT. Large-scale criminal acquisition, through bribery and corruption, of state and provincial assets and funds.

GUPTIVE. A corrupt person; someone employed, paid, bribed, captured, suborned, promoted or otherwise induced to advance state gupture; also GUPPIES — useful idiots; small fish employed in state institutions who enable big fish to make off with the loot.

ZUMATOID ARTHRITIS. Lingering muscular paralysis afflicting senior prosecutors and police and justice department officials when confronted with high crimes and misdemeanours. Symptoms include the compulsion to place their hands under their backsides and remain in a comfortably seated position.

EMPHYZUMA. A progressive condition of moral turpitude masked by protestations of competence and selflessness in the exercise of public office.

ZUMNESIA. A state of selective forgetfulness that strikes witnesses at public inquiries. Also known as WHAT ME? syndrome.

EFFLUENT. The steady flow of rhetorical detritus from politicians both in and out of parliament.

EXZILLERATION. Euphoria induced in political party ranks by the departure of one leader and the return of another. Short-lived.

RAMAFICATIONS. The catastrophic consequences, intended as well as unintended, of efforts to tamper with the constitutional order in pursuit of long-discredited ideologies.

Richard McNeill
Noordhoek

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