He’s making a list. He’s checking it twice. He’s going to find out if you’ve been naughty or nice. Yes, Pravin Gordhan is coming to a state-owned enterprise near you. But that’s all for next year. Now 'tis the silly season and time for dreaming about what might be. And for our politicians, that means writing letters to Santa. “Hello Santa! Yes, it is really me, Jacob Zuma. Eh-heh. I am sorry about the scratched-out words at the top of this letter. They said ‘All you have to do is write a letter and this nice uncle who lives far away will give you whatever you want’ so I started my letter with ‘Dear Atul’. Apologies. "Santa, please will you bring me between R15m and R30m? It’s for something called ‘legal fees’. (I went onto Google and learned that ‘legal’ is a word related to something called ‘laws’.) If you can’t get it all down the chimney just leave it by the chicken coop, marked ‘For Attention: uBaba’.” — Jacob, 76 years old, Nkandla. “From the Desk of Mmusi Maimane. No, seriousl...

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