WE GO AGAIN
KEVIN MCCALLUM: Praise the bare-faced horde and pass the ammunition
There are tricks of the trade — or sport — for safe constitutionals because the body can be an uncontrollable thing
The surest way for a cyclist to ensure their body listens to them is to trick it. At the 2012 Absa Cape Epic, it was important to have a movement before each day’s ride, to lighten both the body and the soul. So, off to the portaloo, we would wander at 5.30am. Breath in, hold it, sit and wait. For nothing. Nada. The night before you had eaten enough for a small family. You had more carbs in one dinner than Tim Noakes has had in 10 years. But your digestive system was the NPA and it was making sure the Zuma Zuma in your tum-tum was going nowhere. The trick was to put on your kit. Lather up with chamois cream, slide into the bib shorts, let the cold, wet cream hit your behind, put on your jersey, socks, shoes, gloves, helmet and sunnies. And, as soon as you were zipped up and ready to go, lo, did the corruption want to charge. Cyclists have an intimate relationship with their insides and the land down under. Tim Dumoulin, who, as I write, is leading the Giro d’Italia, had what was cal...
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