Since this is my last 2016 column, I was asked by the government to wish readers a joyless festive season and unhappy new year. There will be no Santa this year. He was refused overflying rights because of his poor BBBEE scorecard — none of his elves is black and he pays below the minimum wage. Food will be tasteless because the health department hates satisfaction, salivation and taste buds, especially ones that like sweet food, salty food, fast food, refined food, fatty food, dairy food, tasty food, cheap food, preserved food, alcohol, tobacco, beverages and sex. They believe that miserable people have healthy bodies to which end you will endure a raft of draconian proposals in 2017. No one will be getting festive greetings this year because we have the world’s highest mobile data charges. There will be racial conflict caused by poverty, inequality and a slow pace of change. Our wealth will be destroyed because Julius Malema will destroy white monopoly capital which, he says, is a...

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