We’ve reached the point where KPMG apologises to small animals and for the weather, but still it just doesn’t get it. On a  Friday last month, on what we fondly recall as KPMG Day, the company suspended nine of its most important people and promised to do better. There will be an inquiry, it said; the truth will out, just you wait. But even that “frank” admission was misleading at the edges. If you thought “suspended” meant “shown the door amid hissing in the office”, KPMG provided clarification in Parliament last week. Turns out the Oakbay Nine received handsome severance packages so they would go “in the interest of speed”, admitted a remaining KPMG executive, Gary Pickering. It’s perfectly reasonable, really: they were serving out a three-month notice period, weren’t they? We wouldn’t want to do wrong by them. MPs were treated to other news from new CEO Nhlamulo Dlomu, who appeared to be speaking in the style of wishful thinking. “This is about survival … of the firm. In the open...

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