"We are sometimes so happy," Graham Greene wrote in The End of the Affair, "and never in our lives have we known more unhappiness. "It’s as if we were working together on the same statue, cutting it out of each other’s misery. But I don’t even know the design." Fear not, we were given the design last week. And, regards our misery, it could not be more appropriate. Bad news though, it’s not going to cost R6m, an amount the DA identified in its defining statement on the proposed statue of President Jacob Zuma. Well, at least not according to the tender, or to those artists canvassed for an estimate. They put it between R500,000 and R1m. The "bid description" reads: "Sculpturing services for the design, manufacturing and installation of 6m lifelike bronze statue and plaque of President Jacob Zuma in Groot Marico under Ngaka Modiri Molema local municipality." Tender information: 6m Bronze Statue Six metres is the reference. The cost, no doubt, will be determined by the winning bid. In a...

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