SA is a race-obsessed society. If an incident of any kind happens in the course of everyday life in this country — a traffic accident or a dispute with an employer — innocuous or profound, the first question that is often asked is, "what is s/he?". This is asked so that pre-conceived narratives and prejudices can be lined up before formulating a response. Facts are often plugged into race filters and stories edited so that they fit into a world-view. The incident at the Spur restaurant in The Glen in Johannesburg last week plugs into this narrative and perpetuates it. It also serves to highlight the prejudice and social power the concept of whiteness yields more than 20 years into democracy in SA. The video is deeply unsettling. A black woman and a white man hurl abuse at each other over the heads of young children. The man, seething with anger, comes very close to hitting a mother in front of her children. She is equally incensed and accuses him of being a racist. The staff and oth...

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